If Republicans Had Any Brains, They Would Despise Ann Coulter

What is the fun in being a Liberal if we can't point out all the fun things that Conservatives do? After all, Ann Coulter just released a new book, and even though it isn't selling well, it is entitled "If Democrats Had Any Brains The Would be Republicans" which entitles me to poke her friends.

1) Britney Spear's 16 year old sister is poised to catch up with her as an unfit parent. I'll forgive that fact that this is a totally unnewsworthy news item because I learned that some publisher of inspirational material was going to do a book about family values with Britney's sister and Mom.

It's too yummy. How can a publisher of Bibles decide to use Britney Spear's Mom as a role model after such a motherly job of sexualizing her teenage daughters? Oh wait, I know. Because they worship the Almighty $$$$.

2) But I guess the Southern Baptist line is you can't blame the parent for their fucked up kids--you know, because Huckabee's kid hanged a dog at Boy Scout camp. Well, at least the fact he was at a Boy Scout camp proves he's not gay. If only Larry Craig went to Boy Scout camp, he'have one more link in his chainmail defense against being called gay.

3) Mitt Romney's Dad marched with MLK, but "figuratively" rather than "literally." I wonder if his tears when he heard of the end of the Mormon ban on black clergy were figurative as well. Way to try to pander--figurative attendance at events that the traditional GOP base opposed (with guns, dogs, and firehoses) at the time.

Update: Apparently when Mitt defended the figurativeness of the attendance at the event, he said "when we say I saw the Patriots win the World Series, it doesn't necessarily mean you were there." Admittedly, I missed this until it was pointed out to me. But I'm not a sports fan.

4) This is a bit old, but great because it demonstrates a point that I've always made that seems to offend Texans--namely that Texans who are gung ho for guns harbor a secret desire to catch a burglar so they can get a "clean" thrill of killing another human being (or, by their thinking, a sub-human being--the dead burglars weren't black but at least they were Hispanic, and probably illegal to boot). In fact I've only said one thing that offends Texans more--namely that the purple weeds along the highways are ugly. Turns out they are state flower.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/11/17/national/main3517564.shtml